So let me weep a bit.

One of the great things about the Catholic church is that there is constant change in seasons. There is the Ordinary time, which invites each one of us to focus on the daily life of Christ. Then there is advent which invites us to prepare our hearts, to be vigilant, to live in Love while we await the first coming of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Then there is Lent which invites to go to our Desert and wait, pray, and fast. Lent reminds us of His ultimate sacrifice and to unit our sufferings with his leaving an open heart to give our struggles to Him. Because in the end. We. or rather I know I can't live this life on my own.

There has been a lot of change in my life. And lets be real people. Miss Mary does not, and I repeat, DOES NOT do well with change. You see, I am a processor. I think a lot about the actions happening around me that affect me.

My brother John is getting married. MARRIED. Its probably one of the most painful thing happening at the moment. My feelings are silent. I want to rejoice, but its just too difficult and would rather hide because in a way I feel he is abandoning me. I like to say this often because it is so true.-I lost my brother, my best friend, and my roommate in a matter of three weeks. I just don't feel included anymore. He has a new best friend and I am not it anymore. That's a bit lonely.

In the Flynn family, my siblings are having babies, getting married, graduating college. And I'm. I am doing the same thing, at cabrillo for four years, moving back home, and yet to meet someone who reminds me of the St Joseph and my earthly Father.

So..I am processing. surrendering it to this season and asking, more like pleading, When Will It Be My Turn?