Jesus Wept.

I have this dear friend of mine named Emmy Belding. The funny thing is, is that we have never hung out once in our lives, besides an occasional hello as we sit near each other at Sunday mass, or quick gatherings outside of the church. She lost her mother to draconian cancer, and soon became face to face with suffering the loss of her mother and grieving joyfully, searching, going through the motions that grieving brings.
One of the greatest gifts in my life is the Eucharist. I cannot describe it to even begin to give Him justice, but Christ is alive in the Holy Host. The Eucharist, is intimate.--it allows the common person to be connected to any human being receiving the Eucharist in another part of the world, or even the person a pews behind you and in my case, Emmy. We become community. united. Its funny because I feel like Emmy is the only person that can understand the loss of self. She lost her mother, her co-creatorI(her mother, father and God) of her. I didn't lose my mother, but I lost myself. However, by slowly rebuilding my identity..going through those dark times, I found joy. love. grace. By facing those deepest quiet mourning of self, the wounds that I feel stole my joy. love. grace. have really only increased and deepened my joy.love.grace. I feel as though Emmy's and my connection through the Eucharist really gave me the opportunity to heal even more, deepen my understanding, and by her eagerness and openness to truth. a new way of living. a new type of love with out her mother, she was able to listen and soak up moments given to her.

I read one of her entry's about how the Holiday seasons were coming and she opened the chest that held all the decorations that her mother would so joyfully place all around the house. She shared her moment of tears, and I felt so moved and compelled to share with her the beauty of that moment of grief. It was definitely a Holy Spirit moment, where one sister to another was moved by grace of Christ and definitely the grace of her mother to share my thoughts with her.

Here is what Christ prompted me to share. May it bring you peace in your darkest moments.

After reading your latest entry this scripture popped into my head I knew I needed to share it with you.

Your latest entry was so moving.
john 11;1-45
There is this story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead

When Mary met Jesus she was grieving with strong emotion over her brother's death. The Jews with her were also weeping and mourning. Deeply moved by their grief, Jesus wept with them. Jesus then went to the tomb of Lazarus with Mary, Martha and the rest of the mourners. There he asked them to remove the stone that covered the hillside burial place. Jesus looked up to heaven and prayed to his Father, closing with these words: "Lazarus, come out!" When Lazarus came out of the tomb, Jesus told the people to remove his grave clothes.

Two things I love about this:
Jesus wept with them. It shares that the Lord has not looked past our sufferings and he suffers with us.

I love the fact that he told the people to remove his grave clothes. A people, a community. And his grave clothes that he was so wrapped up in are his wounds. Slowing, one by one, the peeling of his graves clothes he was set free and could move. He was alive. Anew.

Often, we want to keep close our wounds because the wounds have now become apart of who we are. It has become apart of our identity, but there are those days where the Lord attempts to release us from our bondage. Our bondage of our grief. He presents opportunities like the decorating of the house to present himself and gently heal us. For we are not known by our wounds, but by Christ healing power.

thank you for reminding me to let him into my wounds.