I have this belief and its truth. Education will never define me. It won't. I have learned more about life through suffering, loss, joy, victory, grief, and struggle. These "events" or "things" that have happened to me, I lived through them. I did not let them define me, or brush them off, or turn away, or deny them. I. I welcomed them. They have been my greatest gift and is still revealing the deep, passionate, and real existence of the Fathers love. Its been hard. Its been almost definable. But. EDUCATION. you will never define me.
Dating. Man. Its lame. It hurts. Its sucks. Maybe it sucks because no one ever thinks I'm awesome enough to stick around. After my Ah Ha! moment of "loving, for loves sake.."I attempted the dating realm again . However, can I just tell you how lame casual dating is. It's so worthless and at times degrading. I love my mom. I tell her everything. And today I told her my situation, my feelings, and how at times it makes me feel lonely. Sadden at the fact that I can add one more guy to my stupid and lame "make out list" that is oh so alive and present with imagery in my head. She pauses for a second, I can hear her breathing on the phone, and she says with such a compassionate voice, "Oh Mary, you remind me so much of myself when I was your age."
I can't help but to think almost a year ago my mom shared with me her story, her deep struggle, and eventually conversion, and the moment she met my father. When she said I reminded her of her I couldn't help to become sad. My mom had such a lonely life and men did a lot of mean things to her from lies, to not showing up, to stealing from her. Not that I am in her situation, but rather that I have been given such grace and protection to miss out on those lies, stealing, and standing her up, yet I dive into silly boy relationships that have stolen my joy, left me alone, and the disappointment man. She and I can relate on the level of relationships and that sometimes scares me.
Just add it to the list.
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