An Untold Story

I had to write a paper for my Human Communication Proseminar class. Praise the Lord for some of my writings on this blog because it definitely assisted me in my paper. This paper most certainly helped me solidify my thoughts of who I am. So I am going to share a bit of it with you!


In the mid 1800’s the potato for the Irish was a tool used to survive. At the same time, Ireland was populated by people whom were considered some of the poorest in the western world populated Ireland. This potato produced an abundance nutritious food able to sustain a whole family. For the Irish people, as the potato famine came to its peek, the potato became a prized possession. This potato became a symbol to all Irish through generations of families. Just like the potato for the Irish, there are three distinct and key identities that sustain me, shape who I am, and who I desire to become: Catholic, Irish, and Bipolar. Each of these three words are windows into my soul, leading me, guiding me, and shaping me into the woman I am called to be.


My first distinct memory of who I am suppose to be was when I was a child on a Sunday Morning. I remember always coming into my parent’s room and lay with my mom in her bed, while my dad would watch ‘Meet the Press’. One particular morning, my Mother and I had a conversation that I will never forget. It went a little like this,
Mary: Mommy, I love you!
Mom: Mommy and Daddy love you so much too, but you know who loves you more?
Mary: Who?
Mom: Jesus, He loves you more than mommy and daddy’s love combined.

I can recall being so confused and couldn't understand how this Jesus guy whom I knew and who is God could love me more than my parents. In that moment, I experienced a very real feeling. I felt a bit of abandonment from my parents, and anger towards this Jesus guy, and yet this comfort in a love that is infinitely greater than the love I receive from my parents. This memory is one of significance. It was my first encounter with Christ. I began to understand about a life full of relationships, forgiveness, love, and protection outside of my earthly parents. Furthermore, this concept of Love that would soon be my foundation for the woman I want to be. My Catholic identity is one of my cultures-from the food I eat, the celebrations I celebrate, to the rituals I do at Sunday Mass, and from the relationships I build. I want to continue this Catholic identity. I believe it will break down walls in my life, reveal higher horizons, and plant in me a deeper gratitude for the human condition.

(left the Irish part out because it was some bullshit paper writing fluff, if you know what I mean..,)

What is the most beautiful thing about trees? The bark? The leaves? The most beautiful thing about trees is that their roots go unseen. Each tree is unique and beautiful and without the roots we wouldn’t get to experience the amazing uniqueness of the tree. This question and answer is perfect to describe my bi-polar disease, which was diagnosed in 2006. This disease has brought me anxiety, suffering, and pain, but has revealed to me peace, grace, and beauty. I don’t want to know the Mary without bi-polar disease. Sure, I have days where I do not know how I am going to survive this life of lonely thoughts, doubts, and the daily struggles of believing in myself, but this disease has challenged me to discover the roots that make Mary. In fact, although I might still be embarrassed to publically announce that I am apart of a group of people who suffer mentally, I realize that I am apart of a larger family that I am eternally grateful for. This disease has taught me the beauty of the human condition, love that sustains, and the letting go of fears. Furthermore, it has taught me discipline. I learned humbly that the disease will not adapt to me, yet I have to adapt to it; from sleeping enough hours, to eating whole grain foods, to exercising, to getting extra sunlight, and lastly, the hardest, being faithful to taking my medicine. Bi-polar disease has awoken my soul to live in perseverance and to live boldly. Bipolar is who I am.

I may not be the best academically intelligent person, but I am emotionally intelligent. I believe we have to have both and this is why I love Human Communications. Catholicism, Ireland, and Bi-polar disease have enriched my life. They have taught me that we all of a story, a history that should be heard. More importantly, I have learned to strive for authenticity and to listen. To be successful in my major, I need to not throw in the towel, but to know and learn history, to listen, to work hard, and adapt to the culture and environment I’m studying.